A RIGHT OF PASSAGE

ALONE TIME

When you have children, so much in your life changes. Grocery story visits go from a simple task to something you have to psyche your self up to do. By the time you get home with the groceries and the two kids you feel like you've ran a marathon. Taking a shower requires a well thought out plan, and I am the first to admit that I have gone several days without bathing because I was worried the baby would wake up and I wouldn't hear him/her cry. Making a doctor's appointment requires getting a babysitter because having your 3 year old with you for your annual gynecologist appointment isn't appropriate. I can not say fruit salad without saying YUMMY YUMMY after it, etc. etc. Basically, when you become a Mom you devote the majority of your time to your kids. I am no different. I LIVE for my kids. They have done more for me than they will ever know and I cherish every second I get with them. I wish they knew how much I appreciate them, but I think they will eventually realize that in due time. I know I am a good Mom and I go to bed every night knowing I have given them 100 percent of the time they deserve. They are GREAT kids and I'm so very proud of them. They are good listeners, best friends, smart, FUNNY, respectful, a joy to be around, and they are PERFECT.

So this year was the year that Raymond started Kindergarten and Gretchen started preschool. For the first time in nearly 6 years I was going to be ALONE. Ray has been in preschool for two years so he's no rookie to school and being dropped off and saying good bye. It was Gretchen(mama's girl) who I was worried about. She did fine. SEE YA!!! It was bitter sweet, but all in all I was sooooo proud of her, because being away from me is not her cup of tea. We must have prepared her enough.

What I didn't prepare for was this empty feeling I would have once they were both gone. I'm sure it can't compare to a parent experiencing an empty nest, but it felt weird. I don't think the reality of it hit me for about a week. I went from lonely to OVERJOYED. I really feel like it was my RIGHT OF PASSAGE. I totally earned this. It's like social security. I'm getting my check. GET IT? I am able to send them to school knowing they are GREAT kids and I can RELAX. I can go to the grocery store ALONE. I can watch a movie of MY choice WITHOUT interruption. I can make a doctor's appointment without having to get a babysitter. I can do my homework, and wrap beads, and do the yard work, and go to Starbucks, and read a book, and SO MUCH MORE. It's been AMAZING and it's only 3 hours a day. I love being able to do all these things, but oddly enough,,,,I can't wait to volunteer in their classrooms. I'm crazy right?!?!